A few years ago I came up with an analogy to signify what it is I seek in people with whom I have relationships (all types of relationships mind you). At that time, I came up with an analogy to help explain it. I have referred to that analogy ever since as the ‘other side of the card’. The analogy basically goes like this:
The concept being, that everyone has different perspectives. Sometimes the matter of where you ‘are’ in life will make a difference on how you see things. The person sitting on one side of the table will, for example, see something like the jack of hearts – the person on the other sees a white-on-blue pattern of someone riding a tricycle in front of a lot of elaborate circles and lines.
In any situation in life, there are going to be people seeing the same thing from different vantage points. At the same time, there will be some people that won’t even be looking at the card, but will instead be checking under the seats for gum or examining the interior decorating of the room. My interest was to find someone who would be looking at many of the same things as me (e.g. the card) but seeing it perhaps in a different way than I had because they would come at it from a different vantage point.
It is a very interesting way to go forward and it has brought me some interesting friends and relationships. But even when I coined the analogy, I still felt there was something missing. I eventually added the thought of someone ‘looking around the room’ as one thing I would not be interested in – I was definately seeking to be around people who were looking at the same things (e.g. the card) and not focused on other things around the room (at least as far as the analogy was concerned and as related to those things I find important in any particular situation).
There was one other thing that I missed, however. I have sought to enter relationships (of all types) that allow me to get the perspective of that ‘other side of the card’. I seek to find people who can help me see the same things I am interested in looking at from a different perspective. But there was another big problem hiding somewhere that I wasn’t able to put my finger upon.
The problem comes in when the people with whom you are interacting fail to recognize that the side of the card you are seeing may in fact be different than theirs. Yes, I am trying to go forth understanding that what they see (based on where they ‘sit’ in life) is different from what I see. But when you find someone who fails to recognize that what YOU see (based on where ‘you’ sit in life) is going to perhaps be different from what they see, then troubles are bound to occur.
So what do you do then? Don’t ask me, that’s the part I am going to have to figure out next. *sigh*