A farmer named Efrum was sitting on the bench at the local feed & grain supply store looking rather glum. His good farming buddy Clem came in and asked him, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful morning looking so down?”
Efrum just shook his head and replied, “Some thangs ya jest cain’t explain.”
“Aww come on Efrum, I’ve known ya mighty long stretch. What happened that’s so horrible?” Clem asked as he sat down.
“Well,” the Efrum said, “today I gots me up at der crack uh dawn and was lookin to milk mah best gurnsie cow. Juss as I gets the bucket ’bout full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket – covering me in milk.”
“Okay,” said the Clem, “but that’s not so bad.”
Efrum just lowered his head and muttered “Thar’s sum thangs yer juss cain’t explain,”
“So what happened then?” then Clem asked.
Efrum continued “Well I looks around the barn and found me a peice a’ rope, cut off a stretch and I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the side of the stall. Feelin I had that heffer licked, I sits me back down and continued to milk ‘er. Juss as I gots the bucket ’bout full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket – agin soakin me to da bone.”
Clem laughed and said, “Agin? Well cum on Efrum, you knows the old sayin – ‘yer can’t cry over dah spilt milk!’ It’s a beautiful day, it kin only get better!”
Efrum just let out a long sigh and replied, “Thar’s some thangs yer juss cain’t explain.”
“Um ok” said Clem perplexed “I take it thar’s more to this … so, what did you do then?”
“Well I took up what was left of dat thar rope and I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the other side. So, I’s sits back down and begun milking her again. And weren’t ya know it, juss as I gets that thar bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”
“Hmmm . . . ” the Clem said and nodded his head. “That thar is a downer. But I kin see by yer face thars bound to me more to this here story”
Efrum nodded and begain “Some things…”
“Yeah yeah… you just can’t explain.” Clem added. “So, what did you do?”
“Wel I wern’t about to be bested by that durned cow,” the farmer said, “I din’t have no more rope, so I took off my belt!”
“Good thinkin! that’s usin yer noogin!” Clem chimed in.
“Yup so I thought too – So’s I’s tying her tail to up the rafter when the lack of my belt caused pants to fell down to my ankles. And also juss about that time my wife Ethel comes a walkin into da barn to see what all the fussin was about . . .
and Thar’s some thangs you juss cain’t explain.”
TheWild Webster 